Bl3h.T

WOO! Just finished another one of my exams today! It went okay la....finished almost an hour early but later went home and found out that I answered some of them wrong and theres only 35 questions on the exam and worth 3 marks each...Even though they were multiple choice they were still SO HARD! We have to know so much! haha well im glad its over and theres not much I can do about it now.

I've decided to take a break from studying for a change and watch a bit of the TV shows that I usually watch such as House, Chuck, Glee etc. etc. Chuck is probably my favourite show out of these! It is so awesome! It just keeps getting better and better, unlike other shows which just goes downhill after a few seasons, but this hasnt and its safe to say that I am in LOVE with this show hehe. I suggest everyone to watch it! Anyway, watched an episode today and found this cool song!



Anyway I cant wait to be finally free from these exams and then I can go ahead with planning my holidays! I have already started saving up, and trying to act like a chinese housewife, saving here, saving there (e.g. I know given up on eating expensive foods or going out just so I can save up a bit more hehe). Not that I have to since the exchange rate is pretty good at the moment :D. Anyway enjoy the song hehe and dont forget to watch Chuck!!

Signing Out,

Halfway through my exams!! 3 down, 3 to go! I feel half relieved hehe. But I feel like im slacking already. I have lost my motivation to study now that i nearing the end of my exams...but i know i must keep going! only 7 more days and i will be free! I cannot wait!!

Anyway, I decided to try and get back to blogging since I didnt want to read about Urinary Tract Infections or do my dishes. I recieved my 2nd fine the other day from the Brisbane City Council for apparently parking my car on council land.....It was a AUD$50 fine which i have to pay within 28 days. Its kinda ridiculous as the land is kinda part of the house that I am renting in Brisbane whilst I'm studying, but then again we did get warned that whilst theres construction we arent allowed to park there....(at the time there was NO construction!!). That seriously ruined my day, thankfully, there was someone there to cheer me up :).

Earlier today I noticed a pattern with me and these fines.

1. Both of them I got in Brisbane
2. Both of them occurred near the house that I stayed at
3. Both of these houses were rented.
4. Both of them ruined my day. (obviously)
5. Both fines have been due to STUPID things

So my first fine was due to me making a right turn at a place that had a 'no right turn' on it so I guess I cant really complain about that. But the thing was that as I was getting pulled over by police, there were SO many cars that made the SAME turn but DIDNT get fined!! That made me so angry...talk about unlucky...
I really hope this pattern doesnt continue as I still have one more year to live in Brisbane...

Anyone want to help me 'wash dust' and wash away the bad luck? :D

Signing Out,

Lately I have been obsessed addicted with playing with my new rubik's cube for some reason. Ever since I was taught how to do the rubiks cube, I have always wanted to buy one. However, I was always "too chinese" to go out and buy the original rubik's cube as it costed around AUD$25, and I wasnt prepared to pay that much for just a cube....until a few days ago haha.

Well, the only reason why I actually did buy one was because it wasn't with my own money haha. A friend of my mum's gave us these expired gift cards (AUD$400 worth), and the sales assistant didnt check and so began our shopping spree. Suprisingly (and kind of sad), the first thing I thought of to buy was a rubiks cube. Probably because I was playing in the toy section with my nephew just before we realised our expired gift cards were still usable.

The second area I ran to was the electronics section. However, that quickly led on to the clothing section. Although I must say, at that time, I wasnt really in the mood for shopping so everytime something was suggested to me, I would keep saying "no, thats no good".....it must have got annoying...sorry...(I can be such a whiner sometimes). In the end though, it did start to look up and I bought this cool jacket w/ hoodie and a new t-shirt.

At the end of the day, we ended up with bags and bags of clothes, new home phones shoes, toys (for me and my nephew :P), and some glassware, and we only spent around $17. What a bargain! If only things like this happened more often! By the end of it, I was totally exhausted from all the shopping and walking around, I slept for a few hours haha. Well mainly because I was sick of course

Signing Out,

*blows away dust*

Its been so long since I've last blogged...almost a month ago. So much for my plan to blog everyday haha however, its never too late to try again.

Reason for abandoning my blog is partly because I've been so busy and partly because I've been lazy as well. Well I finished and handed in three assignments and done two mid-semester exams so now I am pretty carefree. I have a one week holiday next week which will be good, however, I will be working for most of it which kind of sucks as well. But at least I can spend the other half on the Gold Coast with my family :D Cant wait haha.

Anyway on a separate note, I have FINALLY booked my tickets for my holiday at the end of the year to Malaysia, and hopefully all the other countries around malaysia like Singapore, Thailand, Hong Kong...etc. I am super excited and I can't wait! What took me so long was because I couldnt decide whether I should go with an expensive airline like singapore airlines or MAS (and have less money to spend on my trip) or to go with AirAsia and have an extra AUD$400 (or around RM$1200) to spend....dilemmas! However, I listened to my mum and she went ahead and booked singapore airlines apparently. Not that I'm complaining of course haha

Hopefully I don't fail any of my exams so I will have to postpone my trip by a few weeks but if everything goes well I will be on happily on my holiday in a few months time! I've never been to Malaysia before, but hopefully I will fit right in even with my foreign accent hehe. Hopefully I wont be spending too much or eating too much, but I doubt that will happen! Thankfully, there will be someone to keep me under control and not get too fat or too poor! As he always tells me, I dont have enough space in my wardrobe anymore for any new clothes!

I can finally tick some more places off my list of countries to visit at the end of the year! Malaysia, here I come!

Signing Out,

Its weird how tired one can feel sometimes even when they've spent the whole day just sleeping and doing nothing. By 'they', I usually just mean me...haha Ever since I was a baby, sleep has been my best friend. According to my mum, I was very easy to take care of because half the time I was asleep. I could fall asleep almost anytime and anywhere. No matter if its in my mum's hand whilst she is playing 'Mahjong' with a whole group of people or at a busy restaurant, I could easily fall asleep. As my mum used to say in chinese, even if there is a fire or earthquake, I probably wouldnt wake up. haha

Unlike my other old friends who I have slowly lost contact with, I would always 'visit' this one haha. I think I could sleep for a days if I could. My schedule for a normal uni day would go something like this:

I have forgotten how nice it is to wake up, shower and then have a nice hot cup of coffee, especially with this type of weather here in Australia...gloomy, cloudy and rainy. I don't know about anyone else, but I feel there is nothing better than just holding a hot cup of coffee, and having its aroma waft up into my nose. Even without tasting, it just feels like I am surrounding by a shroud of warmth and tranquility. As I take the first sip, I feel this warmth radiate from my insides and just the whole experience makes me feel as if everything around me has melted away and for a second, I feel as if it is just me and my coffee in this world...no problems, no sadness, no worries...

Haha I know...I have my weird moments and this is one of them...even reading back on what I just wrote makes me think I am a bit weird and possibly addicted to coffee. Most of the time I feel like getting a coffee because I am plain tired, however, as I drink it and have that 'moment' of mine, I realise how nice it is just to sit back, relax and enjoy a cup of coffee on a cold rainy day.

Even when I am with friends, when I am drinking my coffee, I dont like to be disturbed haha. I like to just sit there, day dream a little and just take slow sips of my steaming hot coffee. Speaking of which, I am rousing up my coffee addiction as I type this blog...maybe it is time for my second cup of coffee.

I forget about the coldness, I forget about my obligations and responsibilities, I forget about my worries and problems. My personal escape to this harsh world we live in....

Signing Out,

Currently having a power outage at our house so I decided to use the little 14 minutes of my laptop battery to quickly do a blog hehe

As a kid, I remember I used to love when the lights and power go out. Even though we had no TV, or internet or any lights for that matter, I still used to be very excited when it did happen. The reason for this would be that my sister, mum and I would just hid out in my mum's room and just do random things such as play with the torch and make hand shadows, or use the torch to read from this hilarious book that tried to teach chinese people english. We would spend the hour or so just laughing uncontrollably and would be entertaining ourselves with whatever we can think of until the power came back on. Usually when it did come back on, my mum would cook us a HUGE meal after our little family session haha

However, nowadays its completely different. My sister has moved out, I have moved out and my mum rarely stays at home as well. Its been so many years since I've had one of these blackout sessions with my family. Even if it does happen, we rarely do any of the stuff we used to do anyway. I would probably just go take a nap or something and hoping that by the time I wake up, the power will be back on.

Right now, I am experiencing a blackout at my house. However, there is no one here for me to entertain myself with. No torches, no chinese books, and soon to be a dead laptop. There is one thing though, my memories of all the good times I've had with my mum and sister. If only things were the same as they were several years ago....

Signing Out,

I was having an early dinner with my mum and Iggy at sushi train last night, when suddenly something caught iggy's attention and he pointed it out to me. At first, it just looks like this older australian woman getting some take-away sushi. However, as I looked more carefully at what she was doing, my jaw drop....

She was using the tongs and just taking sushi and putting them into the box, but she would only take ONE of the sushi and just leave the plate with the missing sushi on the "train"!!

Signing Out,

I was out shopping for groceries this afternoon, when I heard something really funny and sad at the same time. Well actually I was kinda just following someone else around as they did their grocery shopping, but thats not really the point here. It involved the 2 blonde australian girls and the aisle with all the different types of pasta. Their conversation went a little like this:

Blonde 1: "hmmm I'm thinking of making Carbonara pasta tonight"
Blonde 2: "Oh sounds yummy." *pauses and looks around at the packs of pasta* "....what does carbonara pasta look like anyway?"
Blonde 1: "hmmm I don't know...." *looks at blonde 2 with a confused look*
Me: *faints*

Signing Out,

Signing Out,

Isn't it funny how the closer you are to someone or the better friends you are with someone, the more you make fun of them? About who they like, what they look like, what they do? I have recently realised that within my group of uni friends, we do this ALL the time. No matter who the 'victim' is, we all just laugh it off and take no offence to it, or even come up with another sometimes witty remark to make fun of the person that made fun of you. I don't know if we are just weird or just mean, but its how we have learnt to survive a long day at university.

However, if a stranger starts to do the same thing we us, we are all just like "what's his/her problem?" or "that was just plain mean". I guess that is what friends is all about. We stick up for each other and even though we make fun of one another, we tolerate one another because ultimately we all care about each other, even if we don't always show it.

On a totally different topic, I have realised slowly my assessment has creeped up on me. Thanks to some of my more organised friends, I have started to panic and stress out about the amount of tests and assignments we have to do within the next few weeks. Apparently within the next 3-4 weeks, we will have 3 exams, 2 assignments, on top of the classes, labs and tutorials that I have to attend and study for. I guess I will have to motivate myself to get on top of things or else.... Life of an uni student sucks...

Its weird how sometimes some people can LOOK so smart, but in reality, they are quite very clueless....I'm not saying that I am very smart or something but there are some people that make me really question how they got so far in this degree or even how our university lets people like this pass...

This 'rant' that I'm about to go on has been fueled by a certain girl (lets call her Stacey haha) whom I do my lab work with. It was actually by choice that I ended up with her, but it sort of just happened when she turned to me one day and said "so...I'll go get the equipment for us??". Being the carefree kind of guy, I didn't exactly mind, and actually thought to myself, "she appears to be smart and knows what she's doing. This means less work for me! YAY!"........but how I was terribly wrong..... O.o

I really don't want to sound mean and say that she is an idiot, but sometimes I have to question how she doesn't know the BASICS of biology and also common sense when she has only 1.5 years left of her pharmacy degree....which means in 1.5 years time, she will be looking after real patients....

Well, it all started one week when we were growing bacteria in specialised agar plates. It comes in a round container with a lid. For me, I would have thought that it would common sense to grow the bacteria on the side of the plate that has this 'jelly-like' substance, as opposed to the empty, clear lid. I raised an eyebrow when she asked me which side she should put the bacteria. At first, i was like 'okay, maybe she just forgot' so I shrugged it off and answered her politely.

The following week comes and we are doing the EXACT same thing, just with different bacteria. Seeing as we did the same thing last week, I didn't bother to look at what she was doing as I had to concentrate on my own work. Halfway through the lab, she comes up to me and says "Uh Oh.....I think I did something wrong...". So I thought you know, maybe she used the wrong bacteria or used too much etc. etc. But to my surprise, she said that she wiped the bacteria on the lid, instead of the jelly..... =.="....im guessing she didn't listen to what I told her last week....

THIS week was even worse. Even someone who didnt have a background in science would go =.=". Seeing as she made simple mistakes and making us (namely me) spend even more time redoing the work, I went ahead and labelled everything and prepared everything so she didn't really have to do much. I thought to myself, "come on, she can't make a mistake now...I've done almost everything...". Once again I was terribly wrong. Unfortunately for me, not only does she have bad memory, she also seems to have bad eyesight. She was once again wiping bacteria onto one of those plates (thankfully, she did it on the correct side) and when she was done, she wanted to double check that she did it correctly. She pointed to the jar of bacteria labelled "CANDIDA ALBICANS" and then to the plate that I CLEARLY labelled as "P. AERUGINOSA" and said to me "These two are the same right?"......and I fainted..........

Okay, not really, but I wanted to so I didn't have to answer her question or to do the work again. Everytime that I have told some of my close friends in my class they have always responded by "wait, but she seems so smart?!" Anyway this is my rant of the day. Thankfully, today was the last lab that I have to do with her, so no need to faint again.

Its funny how the people around you change you ever so slightly, each and everyday. Depending on those people, they may change you for the good or for the bad. Lately, I have been picking up these tiny habits from my lover without even knowing, such as showering everytime I come back home after going out, or that I use twitter, or even started my own blog. Although these might not be huge things in the eyes of other people, to me, it is these little things that shows how important you are to me.

Having only not seen you for 14 hours and 8 minutes (but whose counting), the way that I miss you feels as if I havent seen you in weeks. Everything around me reminds me of a little bit of you or the time we've spent together.

When I look at 'koala', it reminds me of the hours
 and hours we spent shopping around at ikea.

 Being one of the most indecisive people alive, it is probably the worse position for me to be in, especially when one side is my mum and the other my sister. Sometimes I feel as if my feelings get stomped on and buried under the ground between these two strong-minded people. Its possible for them to have a full-blown argument regarding me without either of them asking 'how do you feel about this?' before I end up storming out of the room.


 
I am not strong-willed. For me, there are only certain things that actually make me want to wake up in the morning - Love for my mum and lover. Sometimes it does get tough for me to find a reason to not do something stupid, but ultimately I do find a reason and that is my mum. The last thing I ever want to do is to hurt her and disappoint her. What hurts me even more is seeing other people disappoint her and hurting her and not being able to do anything about it. I am not strong enough to stand up to these people and to protect my mum. For this, I want to say sorry. It isn't that I dont want to but I dont want anyone to get hurt because of me or what I say.

The longer I am stuck in this position the harder it gets to breath. But I really dont know what to do when both are my family? How can I live in this world when all I want to do is make everyone happy? Am I really as naive as people say when all I want is to make the people around me happy?

Having worked in a pharmacy for almost a year as an assistant has really got me thinking....Of the hundreds of people who I have given advice to about their sickness or medication, I wonder how many of them actually took my advice or even believed what I've told them?

I have realised that I have no idea what to blog about, but I do feel like blogging though. Nothing much has happened since I've been back at university. Class has started and once again we have just jumped straight into learning about all these random drugs, diseases. This semester, we are focusing on antibiotics and also cancer drugs later in the year I think....even trying to pronounce bacteria names gives me the biggest headache (trying saying neisseria meningitidis or staphylococcus saprophyticus ten times really quickly...), let alone trying to remember what type they are, where they are commonly found, what they caused, which drugs to use on them....etc. etc....

Anyway, thats enough of me ranting on about university, but just now I was trying to be studious and get ahead by doing some study (.....which obviously failed as I am now blogging and listening to music), and I came across a really good song. Once I heard it, I immediately thought of you (you know who are you :P) and I thought that I just had to show you haha

 I would change the lyrics just a little bit for you but thats for me to sing and you to listen when we are together haha but before I go and try and study again, I leave you with this song.

 

One month of holidays has already quickly passed. Like everyone else, I am wishing that the holidays could have lasted longer, but theres not much I can do about it now. So right now, I am alone in my room being extremely bored. I would say that my holidays have been pretty eventful. Went to melbourne, got to spend time with my family, helped my sister move houses, worked a few days. The thing that I really dont like the most right now is that I'm alone. Throughout the holidays, I dont think I have been alone. I've always had someone around me and have just kept me company. And now, all of a sudden, I'm all alone again...until the weekend.

Anyway, I'm planning on going to townsville for my best friend's 21st birthday party...(although I havent booked my flights yet and its next weekend) haha I never been to townsville before, but from what I've heard there isnt much to be excited about. Come to think of it, I am a pretty 'bad australian'. When I say that I mean that I've lived here since I was 5, so for 15 years, and I've barely been to any places in australia (or anywhere in the world for that matter).

I know, I should be ashamed. Whenever someone asks me "oh, what are some good places to go visit or see?", I seriously cannot come up with anything because I havent done fun or exciting things here either......However, I love travelling and am wanting to travel to all the touristy places in australia haha but I will have to keep my fingers crossed and win the lottery before I am able to do all that travelling :-(

One of my favourites

Sometimes I wish that i was dumb and clueless...I think life would be much more simpler that way. Not knowing whats going on, having the simpliest things in life making you ecstatic, not overthinking about certain things etc. etc. - the advantages of being clueless just goes on and on. That is why I love playing with my nephew (btw I am not saying that my nephew is dumb! just innocent!). Anything can make him smile and laugh when he's happy, sad, hurt or angry, even if it is just a lolly. Too bad its not as simple when we're adults.

Lately, it seems that I've been making my closest family and friends sad and disappointing them. From here on, I want to list some of my biggest faults. This WILL serve as a warning and motivation for my future self to change these and fix these faults.

My First Fault:

Lately, there always seems to be something that I am constantly racking my brains out, trying to figure out whether it is or it isn't. This has definitely taken its toll on me and my loved ones. This is my first fault, and for this, I apologise. I have lost countless nights of sleep doing this, thinking of every possibility and everything it can and can't be. I try to hide my distraught from my family and friends, as I think that I am protecting them and don't want them to worry. I would rather suffer myself than bring upon sadness and hurt to my loved ones.

My Second Fault:

For those that know me, I not the type of person for confrontation, I would prefer to keep things inside any day. But because of this, when it gets too much, it all comes bursting out, and this is my second and biggest fault. This is the one thing that really kills me when it happens. Although not on purpose, my mum is usually being the one that has to deal with this outburst. Being the good son, my mother has placed all her faith and hopes in me, including her "will to live". Despite knowing this, I have several times 'exploded' at her for something quite simple, but also immense heartbreak and disappointment. It tears my heart apart everytime I do this, but sometimes its like something sweeps over me and it just all comes burst out. THIS IS ONE THING I MUST CHANGE!  No matter what....

My Third Fault:

Another fault of mine is my indecisiveness. This is one of the things that irritates me immensely. I do realise that I am very indecisive, but my blood just boils when people have to keep telling me this. Its not like I dont know that I cant make decisions, it annoys me just as much as you that I can't make up my mind! I try to be more decisive, but I just cant keep to one decision! In the past when I have made decisions, everyone has either shot it down or as a result of it made someone very sad or hurt. This is why I would rather someone else make the decisions so I dont hurt someone or make someone unhappy. I feel selfish when I'm the only one making decisions, especially when I will just be shot down or be called stupid for making that decision.

My Fourth Fault:

Paranoia and Depression. These I believe go hand-in-hand. When I get paranoid about something, I get depressed. When I get Depressed, I get paranoid. I used to have a way of controlling my emotions when I'm sad or depressed about something - I would just go out and drive around aimlessly at night, but not just normal driving, rather reckless driving - speeding, cutting people off, blasting my music (often emo music, like I am listening to now). It seems that this was one way to calm my head and my heart down, despite how dangerous it was. But ever since this one particular incident where I completely lost it, nothing seems to work anymore. Its more of a 50:50 chance as to whether i do stupid things or not when I'm depressed. Once again, I feel as if something sweeps over me and I just spiral down into darkness and I just cant seem to get myself out of it, everything just feels heavy and tiring, as if there is nothing out there that can pull me out.
This is also something that I have to learn to control again! But as of now, I am really stumped as to how I will be able to do this....

Parting comment for my future self
Hopefully I will read this again in the future and think how silly i was in the past. Hopefully, i will have changed all of these faults, especially the ones that are highlighted, before it is too late.

It's been a few days since I've been back from Melbourne, but I've been feeling so lazy to blog about my experiences over there. I can say that overall it was a really good trip - the food was amazing (I do have photos of everything I ate but I can't post them through my phone...), I won a total of 3 dollars at the crown casino!! :D and did a whole heap of shopping too!

However, i am glad to be back on the gold coast. I just feel so much more relaxed and 'at home' when I'm here. Not to mention all the people I love are here! I think that no matter where I end up later in life for work or for my family, I would eventually want to settle down or retire on the gold coast...everything is here - amazing beaches, a car, a nice house, childhood memories....I could go on and on haha but I don't mean to say that I want to be here forever...I do love to travel! But when I get old and want to settle down with my lover, I would want to eventually make my way back there :D well of course it would also depend on my lover haha

Anyway....I have decided to go to Malaysia/Singapore/Thailand (hopefully) during my end of year holidays in November/December!! :D so excited haha hopefully I will have someone to take me to places and show me round or else I will definitely get lost...(no joke, but I still get lost on the gold coast despite living here for 15 years haha) I will definitely make a list of awesome things to do while I'm there... Don wan to be sitting at home all day haha

Well my lunch break is almost over and needn't get back to work,
Bl3h.T

Wow I haven't blogged in soooo long....haha not that there are many readers haha but I guess this is a kind of diary that I wish to read back on in my later life so it doesn't really matter how many people read or follow my blog...but at least I know I will always have one! :D

Anyway just finished my exams!! Woo! Passed everything with quite good results haha as a result I am in Melbourne for a holiday for the first time in my life with a few of my friends from uni. (although I would much rather have been here with my babe...)

Melbourne is such a cool place. The food is so good here. Everywhere I look are cages an restaurants and fast food. There are sooooo many places to eat and everywhere that I've eaten at has been awesome!! (and a pretty good bargain too...). I had taken so a photo of every meal I've had here (but I'm on my iPhone and can't upload my photos from my camera - will do that later haha)

So far we have seen the crown casino, aquarium, the markets (spent a bit of money here :P) and just walked around the city for the views and stuff. However one bad thing is that it is FREEZING COLD here in Melbourne...I don't dare to go outside unless I have at least 3 layers of clothing haha but I guess that is part of the experience!

I will be going to the Seafood buffet at the crown casino tonight. (it is only 19.50!!!!!!) so cheap! Hopefully It is good. Haha anyway will keep updating this blog later.

Bl3h.T

I was watching Sex and the City: The Movie last night with my babe last night and I thought it was pretty good and funny. I've never really watched sex and the city before, but this movie was quite entertaining.

So there was this one part of the movie that was about love letters. I won't ruin the movie for anyone that hasn't watched it but it got me thinking. Nowadays, not too many people actually write letters, let alone love letters. Most people these days rely on emails, sms and facebook. I'm not saying that I handwrite every message to my friends and family, but its just amazing how computers and technology have changed us. Even the 'letters' that I do receive are typed out on a computer.

I've been told by my mum and according to chinese culture, how a person writes can say a lot about a person. Its funny how people can judge your personality by even the way you write. I guess you can't judge a book by its cover, but you can by how the title is written! I personally have very messy writing, which probably is a true indicator of my own personality, i.e. MESSY.

Anyway on a totally different topic, it is Red Nose Day on the 25th of June. I suggest that everyone go and get themselves a red nose and/or donate to the SIDSandKIDs foundation and SPREAD THE LOVE! I believe that it goes to a good cause. I've already bought two plush toys. They are so cute, one for me and one for you, our dinosnores!

There are only a handful of things that absolutely irritate me and that I can't stand and one of them are people who say/do things behind your back. I mean come on, if you want to say it just say it to my face instead of going to all this trouble of telling other people (or posting it on facebook which obviously i can see). My god....whats the point of going through all this trouble? dont you have better things to do?

Whats more irritating is that earlier that night, this roommate had been so rude that he didnt even let me know that he was going to eat some of my food that i had in the freezer. It would have been nice to be at least informed. Its just basic manners. I'm definitely moving back home for my study week so I dont have to deal with people like him....

There is a saying that these three words are one of the hardest things to say to someone. Honestly, I agree with this saying, but only to some extent. I remember how hard it was for me to first say it to you, despite wanting to so badly. I had to build up my courage, my confidence and thinking of the perfect moment to say it. But staring into your eyes and being in your arms made me realise that there wasn't just a single perfect moment that I was waiting for, every moment that I was with you was perfect.

I believe on their own, these letters may not mean much, but together these three words can make almost everything alright. I know that it definitely brings a smile to my face whenever I hear those three words. Not only does it show someone how much you care, but it also shows them how important they are to you.

So, have you said these three words to someone that you care about lately?

In this world, there are many things that cannot be explained. No matter what people say about not needing the 'other half' or they dont believe in their soul mate, I truly believe that it exists and not just myth. I'm not sure if you have read or heard about the greek 'myth' behind soulmates, but it goes a little like this.

It has been told that we, men and women, all used to very powerful beings, with four legs and four arms. Being able to doing almost anything, we brought fear to the gods above, including their King of gods, Zeus. He decided that instead of annihilating our whole race, he would split every man into two, condemning them to spend the rest of their life searching for their other half. It is only when we find our other half, will we be complete and whole again.

Although I'm not sure how truthful this story is, I do believe that soulmates exists and that we spend all our lives, either consciously or subconsciously, trying to find them. Whether or not we actively go out and look for the 'right one' or THE one, we are all affected by this concept of a soulmate as we all have our own 'ideal relationship' or want our partner to treat us a certain type of way. Even if people often compare this and love-at-first-sight to believing in fairies or santa claus. Does it make me crazy if I am a believer of both these things (i.e. Love at first sight and soulmates)?
However, I will end this blog with one question, is it really true that just meet our soulmate and then live happily ever after? or do become soulmates after going through the highs and lows of life together? I personally think that its a mix of both, you must meet the right person first and then it is these obstacles in life that strengthen your bond, making you realise how much you love each other and how hard it is to be without one another.

~When we are apart, everything seems so meaningless, but together, nothing can bring us down~

Recently I had all of these feelings over the weekend and being the type of person who keeps things bottled up inside, I made everything much worse and caused even more worry to those around me. For this, I want to say that I'm sorry for all the lies and for not being honest. I always seem to have trouble trying to communicate my worries and problems to the ones that I really care about and love as I feel like that keeping them out of the loop will protect them and make them worry less. But recently, I have found out how wrong that theory is. I wasn't protecting them at all...It seems all I was doing was making them worry even more :(   On top of the fear and panic, all the lies and pretending just made me feel even worse and sad as I had no one to talk to. I feel like such an idiot and once again, I'm sorry.

Thank you for all that you've done and the way that you take care of me.
You are not pushy, you are PERFECT.
You are not overly protective, you are my GUARDIAN ANGEL
I never expected you to do all this stuff for me, but you do and don't ask for anything in return and I am blessed and grateful to have you. I thought it would be impossible to find someone like you, but I guess miracles to happen, even to me.

Its my nephew's 2nd birthday this saturday and I've been racking my brains out for something that i should get him on this special day. He already has heaps of clothes and toys and i dont know what else I can get him...Hopefully I can go shopping tomorrow and stumble upon something that he would like.

This week I've also been doing a lot of random thinking just because I've started to procrastinate a lot again since I handed that big assignment in on monday. It so much easier as a kid. Everytime I look at my nephew I kind of wish I could turn back time. He's always happy and only gets sad or cries when his mother doesnt give him a lolly or toy. No need to think about what people think of him, no deadlines to meet, no pressure at all. I know people say that we all grow up one day and have to stop being a kid. Society even has issues with adults that act even a little bit like kids. I'm not saying that all I want to do all day is play with toys, sleep and being spoonfed. Life is just so much simplier and innocent as a kid, even the people around you. No lies, no jealousy, no competitiveness, no fakeness. What happens between the transition of a child to adult that rids us of this innocent and simplicity? Why do people want to grow up so fast when all it does is expose us to lies and fake faces?

Although nowadays, children are 'growing up' faster and faster. Its sad that I see 10 year old kids swearing, pulling out their rude fingers and screaming at their parents. So maybe it is good that I've grew up in the earlier generation, where 'dumb' and 'idiot' were the 'worst' swear words that i knew and you wouldnt just say them to act 'cool' in front of your friends....

Had the most uneventful day today. I dont understand how I pass my time by doing nothing at all. Its pretty surprising that I've survived 19 years of my life pretty much doing nothing at home everyday. Time just flies by...its kind of scary. My roommate just turned 26 today and I cant help to think what I will be doing when i'm 26...Will I be still studying like he is? Will I have a nice paying job that I love? Will I still be living in the same house?

I hope I can have a good job that I love by then which allows me to buy things that me and my loved ones want and need. My mum always asks me when I grow up will I be able to provide for my family like she has for us and buy me almost everything I wanted (i know...my mum spoils me a lot)? Even as a little kid I have decided that this was one thing that I will try to achieve above all else, even if it means putting them above myself. This is what my mum had done, is doing and will always do and I've sworn to do the same thing. This is what i call unconditional love and hopefully I can do the same thing for my loved ones.

Recently had the WORST day of my life the other day...a few days before mothers day. It was horrible. Nothing was going the way that I wanted it to be that day. Took me 3 hours to buy just a bag of stuff for mothers day and was thinking all the shops would be closed before I could get the chance....But little did I know that there was someone watching out for me that day even though we were far away from each other. Cheering me up when I wanted to give up on that day, giving me ideas on how to do my mothers day project, somehow found the headphones that was left in my car when I had thought I had lost mine that day.

I didn't realise how much I depended on you and I am blessed to have you always with me, even if you are far away from me. You have made my world a much better place by just being here for me. Thank you and I love you.
 

I've been so lazy lately...I've got several assignments that are due soon but I've just been too lazy to go about doing them. Its so bad and all I can think about it is having fun on the weekend! I know people say that you have to have a balance of fun and school work...but lately i think the scale has definitely tipped over to fun and not enough school work!

I try not to talk to my friends from school about work because everyone else is so organised and have pretty much finished it whereas I have just started. I definitely need to pick up the slack and stop being lazy, especially since EXAMS are coming up soon......AHHHHHHH! Will definitely have to hit the books soon.
apparenlty our exam timetable for June is coming out next week...hopefully it wont be like 3 exams in a row like last year...that was terrible...

On a separate note, EVERYONE is sick nowadays! especially at the pharmacy! everyone is coughing and sneezing - there are germs everywhere! I hide in the back when I'm at work so I dont have to talk to these patients. Hopefully i dont fall sick soon...ive got so much to do!

Lately, I have been loving my weekends more and more. Usually I end up just doing nothing at all and spending my entire weekend just by myself, alone and bored. Now that i have someone to spend my time with on the weekend, im loving every minute of it...not just because I dont have to go to class and lectures, but because I genuinely love being around the people I love.

Ugh...as I've mentioned, I have a test this thursday and for the whole of today, I was trying to go through some notes with my friends and having a study session in the library. However, it was only now that I'd realised how WRONG and STUPID our lecturer is....

On at least FIFTEEN different slides, he has put up either contradicting information (to things learnt in my other subjects or even on his OWN earlier slides) or just the wrong information. Who needs you if you are just going to confuse us and teach us the wrong stuff...Ughhh so over this exam and our lecturer. Can't wait until this thursday is over...so sick of studying...

On a separate but mildly related note, I can't wait till the weekend! (even though its only tuesday) Trying to plan something very fun and interesting to do - kinda like a weekend getaway haha but haven't thought of anywhere yet....but anywhere will be amazing as long as i am with YOU! =D

It was ANZAC day yesterday here in Australia. For those of you who don't know, this is the day where we pay out tributes and remember the Australian and New Zealand troops who fought in WWI. Every year I would just spend this day alone and at home as if it were another ordinary day....and this year was pretty much the same. Well, actually no, not quite as I got to spend valuable time with my loved ones. This was probably one of the best ANZAC weekends that I've ever had, not because of what was done, but rather who I was with.

Although we just did ordinary stuff together, like making dinner, watching movies, getting lost while I was driving, walking around the shopping centre (like three times =P), eating, sleeping, staring at you while you slept (a bit creepy...i know..) etc. etc., I still had a really really good time.

Speaking about watching movies, How to Train a Dragon was such a good  movie. I loved it so much. It was just such a cute movie. I would highly recommend you watch it if you are into these type of cute, animated movies. Anyway, got my biomedical exam on thursday and two assignments due on friday and the friday after, so i should probably go study. So nervous about the exam...theres just too much to learn. hate it, hate it, hate it.

Read this on a friend's blog and thought I'd make one myself. Here goes.

1. I was born in Hong Kong, but I was almost born in Japan and even almost on an airplane. My dad insisted that I was to be born in Hong Kong, and the night that my mum's plane reached hong kong, she started getting contractions and went into hospital. In the early hours of the next day, I was born.

2. I've had a little pillow that I have slept with for every single night up until I moved out of home (which was at like 17 :P). When I was little and whenever I got a stomach ache or a bad nightmare, I would talk to it and ask it to protect me from the pain or the bad dreams...hey...I was like 6 or 7...

3. When I was young, I also used to wake up at the early hours (2 or 3am) and would just sit at the kitchen and eat crackers. My mum once thought it was a thief who got hungry whilst breaking in.

4. I had a 'bowl cut' up until i was in grade 9 (i.e. when I was 14). and before that I had a massive 'rat-tail'. At the end of grade 11, I had a massive 'make-over' - haircut, braces off and contacts. I was born anew haha

5. If you have ever met me, then you would probably know this already, but i LOVE eating...I'm always hungry and will always be up for eating a nice meal, whether it be asian, italian, greek...pretty much any type of food. I also get SUPER hungry when I go out drinking - my friends have to literally PULL me away from the food.

6. I had a lisp for almost my whole life. I would have trouble pronouncing 's' and 'th' sounds. One day I recorded a radio program for an assignment in my last year of high school and heard how bad my lisp was, I was determined to get rid of it...and after a few hours of practising, it did go away.

7. I have only met one of my grandparents - my mother's mother. However, she had alzheimer's disease which meant that she never remembered who I was.

8. Up until two years ago, I only got to see my dad twice a year, and never for more than 2 weeks at a time. But those two weeks were worth it, as I would get heaps of presents from japan and also spend time with my dad.

9. I've owned both a guinea pig and a baby duck before. However, it wasn't for long as I was forced to give my guinea pig away and my duck died of unknown reasons....I was 12 and I was devastated. I never owned a pet after that.

10. I am horrible with electronics. Within my 2.5 years of being at university, I have broken 2 laptops, 1 desktop computer, 2 computer monitors, 1 GPS mount and at least 10 -15 pairs of headphones. My friends say I'm cursed.

11. I have always been scared of big dogs. This was because I was chased by a dog in the park when I was about 4 and it bit my hand. I have never gotten over this fear of dogs.

12. I can't drink milk in the mornings and only in the afternoon and nighttime. If I drink it in the morning, I get terrible stomach aches for the rest of the day.

13. I have never broken a single bone in my life.

14. Even though I studying to be in the health profession (pharmacy), whenever I get sick I get worried and I try to diagnose myself using the internet. I get even more worried if any of the symptoms do match mine. I have once convinced myself that I had menigicoccal C, swine flu, cold sores, menigitis etc. But each time it had turned out to be wrong and it was something extrememly minor.

15. When I get depressed or if I can't seem to concentrate, I like to go driving around to random places in my car with loud music. I find this helps me to relax.

16. Even as a little kid, I have found it to be very intimidating and uncomfortable speaking cantonese to my friends and try not to, however, I have no problems speaking it to my loved ones.

17. I met my best friend from school in grade 7. We stopped hanging out for the next 3.5 years of high school. In math class one day during grade 11, I decided to sit next to him again. Since that day we have become best friends.

18. Even though I am studying pharmacy, I often forget to take my own medication or go against what I tell the patients at work, such as taking a little bit more than I should =P

19. I have witness the birth of a child before. It was one of the most amazing and scary thing in my life.

20. I usually hate calling people, even to my friends - I prefer to text. The only people who i do feel comfortable talking on the phone to is my loved ones. Whenever I do have to make a phone call, I usually play through the whole scenario in my head before calling and have the whole conversation planned out.

21. I am EXTREMELY indecisive. All my friends get absolutely irritated this part of me.

22. I have never been on a holiday with my family as a whole before. We never do travelling as a family. This is why I made it my goal to save up money so that we could go for a holiday somewhere as a family. Hopefully, one day I will have travelled the world as well and hopefully it will be done with the one I love.

23. I've had four of my teeth taken out because my jaw was overcrowded. I've also had a chunk of my ear cut off by a barber when I was about 12.

Well heres 23 things about me and hopefully you know me better now. Until next time.
 Signing Out,
Bl3h.T

Have you ever laid in bed at night trying to get to sleep, but can't because there are so many thoughts racing around in your mind? Well, I do and this used to happen very frequently for me (and still does sometimes, such as tonight).