Bl3h.T

In this world, there are many things that cannot be explained. No matter what people say about not needing the 'other half' or they dont believe in their soul mate, I truly believe that it exists and not just myth. I'm not sure if you have read or heard about the greek 'myth' behind soulmates, but it goes a little like this.

It has been told that we, men and women, all used to very powerful beings, with four legs and four arms. Being able to doing almost anything, we brought fear to the gods above, including their King of gods, Zeus. He decided that instead of annihilating our whole race, he would split every man into two, condemning them to spend the rest of their life searching for their other half. It is only when we find our other half, will we be complete and whole again.

Although I'm not sure how truthful this story is, I do believe that soulmates exists and that we spend all our lives, either consciously or subconsciously, trying to find them. Whether or not we actively go out and look for the 'right one' or THE one, we are all affected by this concept of a soulmate as we all have our own 'ideal relationship' or want our partner to treat us a certain type of way. Even if people often compare this and love-at-first-sight to believing in fairies or santa claus. Does it make me crazy if I am a believer of both these things (i.e. Love at first sight and soulmates)?
However, I will end this blog with one question, is it really true that just meet our soulmate and then live happily ever after? or do become soulmates after going through the highs and lows of life together? I personally think that its a mix of both, you must meet the right person first and then it is these obstacles in life that strengthen your bond, making you realise how much you love each other and how hard it is to be without one another.

~When we are apart, everything seems so meaningless, but together, nothing can bring us down~

Recently I had all of these feelings over the weekend and being the type of person who keeps things bottled up inside, I made everything much worse and caused even more worry to those around me. For this, I want to say that I'm sorry for all the lies and for not being honest. I always seem to have trouble trying to communicate my worries and problems to the ones that I really care about and love as I feel like that keeping them out of the loop will protect them and make them worry less. But recently, I have found out how wrong that theory is. I wasn't protecting them at all...It seems all I was doing was making them worry even more :(   On top of the fear and panic, all the lies and pretending just made me feel even worse and sad as I had no one to talk to. I feel like such an idiot and once again, I'm sorry.

Thank you for all that you've done and the way that you take care of me.
You are not pushy, you are PERFECT.
You are not overly protective, you are my GUARDIAN ANGEL
I never expected you to do all this stuff for me, but you do and don't ask for anything in return and I am blessed and grateful to have you. I thought it would be impossible to find someone like you, but I guess miracles to happen, even to me.

Its my nephew's 2nd birthday this saturday and I've been racking my brains out for something that i should get him on this special day. He already has heaps of clothes and toys and i dont know what else I can get him...Hopefully I can go shopping tomorrow and stumble upon something that he would like.

This week I've also been doing a lot of random thinking just because I've started to procrastinate a lot again since I handed that big assignment in on monday. It so much easier as a kid. Everytime I look at my nephew I kind of wish I could turn back time. He's always happy and only gets sad or cries when his mother doesnt give him a lolly or toy. No need to think about what people think of him, no deadlines to meet, no pressure at all. I know people say that we all grow up one day and have to stop being a kid. Society even has issues with adults that act even a little bit like kids. I'm not saying that all I want to do all day is play with toys, sleep and being spoonfed. Life is just so much simplier and innocent as a kid, even the people around you. No lies, no jealousy, no competitiveness, no fakeness. What happens between the transition of a child to adult that rids us of this innocent and simplicity? Why do people want to grow up so fast when all it does is expose us to lies and fake faces?

Although nowadays, children are 'growing up' faster and faster. Its sad that I see 10 year old kids swearing, pulling out their rude fingers and screaming at their parents. So maybe it is good that I've grew up in the earlier generation, where 'dumb' and 'idiot' were the 'worst' swear words that i knew and you wouldnt just say them to act 'cool' in front of your friends....

Had the most uneventful day today. I dont understand how I pass my time by doing nothing at all. Its pretty surprising that I've survived 19 years of my life pretty much doing nothing at home everyday. Time just flies by...its kind of scary. My roommate just turned 26 today and I cant help to think what I will be doing when i'm 26...Will I be still studying like he is? Will I have a nice paying job that I love? Will I still be living in the same house?

I hope I can have a good job that I love by then which allows me to buy things that me and my loved ones want and need. My mum always asks me when I grow up will I be able to provide for my family like she has for us and buy me almost everything I wanted (i know...my mum spoils me a lot)? Even as a little kid I have decided that this was one thing that I will try to achieve above all else, even if it means putting them above myself. This is what my mum had done, is doing and will always do and I've sworn to do the same thing. This is what i call unconditional love and hopefully I can do the same thing for my loved ones.

Recently had the WORST day of my life the other day...a few days before mothers day. It was horrible. Nothing was going the way that I wanted it to be that day. Took me 3 hours to buy just a bag of stuff for mothers day and was thinking all the shops would be closed before I could get the chance....But little did I know that there was someone watching out for me that day even though we were far away from each other. Cheering me up when I wanted to give up on that day, giving me ideas on how to do my mothers day project, somehow found the headphones that was left in my car when I had thought I had lost mine that day.

I didn't realise how much I depended on you and I am blessed to have you always with me, even if you are far away from me. You have made my world a much better place by just being here for me. Thank you and I love you.
 

I've been so lazy lately...I've got several assignments that are due soon but I've just been too lazy to go about doing them. Its so bad and all I can think about it is having fun on the weekend! I know people say that you have to have a balance of fun and school work...but lately i think the scale has definitely tipped over to fun and not enough school work!

I try not to talk to my friends from school about work because everyone else is so organised and have pretty much finished it whereas I have just started. I definitely need to pick up the slack and stop being lazy, especially since EXAMS are coming up soon......AHHHHHHH! Will definitely have to hit the books soon.
apparenlty our exam timetable for June is coming out next week...hopefully it wont be like 3 exams in a row like last year...that was terrible...

On a separate note, EVERYONE is sick nowadays! especially at the pharmacy! everyone is coughing and sneezing - there are germs everywhere! I hide in the back when I'm at work so I dont have to talk to these patients. Hopefully i dont fall sick soon...ive got so much to do!

Lately, I have been loving my weekends more and more. Usually I end up just doing nothing at all and spending my entire weekend just by myself, alone and bored. Now that i have someone to spend my time with on the weekend, im loving every minute of it...not just because I dont have to go to class and lectures, but because I genuinely love being around the people I love.