Bl3h.T

These days I have realized how "high maintenance" I am. I never really realized it as I have always been this way but now it's definitely going to change. I complain and whinge so much I probably annoy the hell out of my friends and family hahaha together with my huge indecisiveness I'm surprised I actually still have friends. Well it's definitely not my looks or my popularity that is keeping my friends so I guess I must do something's right some of the time :P

Anyway I recently found out my result for my "life-changing test" that I did a few months ago...the one which cut my Malaysian holiday short..but I did really well! I am so happy with it I was practically jumping up and down on the train that afternoon :) I don't know if it's good enough to get me into what I want but at least I gave it my best shot. See I probably could have left Malaysia the day before my exam! :P even if it doesn't work out ive got several backup plan which is always a good thing. One of which is taking a gap year after I graduate to Malaysia.

I was looking this up and found that australians are able to spend 1 year in Malaysia (visa free) as a part of some student exchange program. I'm actually wondering how many of us go over there compared to the number of malaysians that come over here haha but there are several terms of agreement. Some of which are quite funny I found:

1. If you have any professional qualifications you are unable to use them for the period that you spend in the other country.

2. You can't work in the "spa industry" whatever that means...

3. You can't work in the same place for over 2-3 months and no more than 6 months of the total trip.

I found 1 and 2 very funny but I guess I can cross those off my list of things to do while I'm there. No pharmacy. No spas. Damn...I think even if I get into uni again next year one of these years I will take this gap year up. It will be an opportunity to be independent and to be an adult for once in my life, which lately i haven't seem to be doing. And of course it's another holiday :P

Signing Out,

I am turning 21 at the end of the year and guess what I feel like I'm a 12 year old. When we are young we desperately want to grow older to do all the "adult" things but it's funny how when we are old the world spends billions of dollars aimed at helping adults to grow younger and turn back time and all of the other gimmicks out there...but right now I just want to grow up!

I don't want to grow old, just to grow up and stop acting like a child. Recently I did some things which was very childish and just plain idiotic and being conned like a 12 year old. Im so angry at myself but I just keep doing it I seriously need to grow up. I feel that I missed or skipped the point when you say to yourself "ok I'm gonna grow up now and stop playing video games and watching cartoons and just grow up. Unfortunately I never snapped out of that phase and still do most of those childish things like throw fits when I don't get what I want, talk and act like a kid, being sheltered by my parents, having stupid dreams and hopes like having a happily ever after ending and everyone is nice like Mary poppins.

I really want and need to snap out of this before anything worse happens. I desperately need to grow up and not look back. I need to accept my responsibilities as an adult and stop thinking like a child. But how? How do I just click my fingers and just grow up?

Signing Out,