Tired, But Cant Sleep....

1:34 AM |

Have you ever laid in bed at night trying to get to sleep, but can't because there are so many thoughts racing around in your mind? Well, I do and this used to happen very frequently for me (and still does sometimes, such as tonight).

Whenever something bothers me, I'm not usually the one to express my feelings either at the time, or later, and would rather keep things bottled up inside. This is one part of my personality that I used to despise. I have lost countless nights of sleep because all I do at night is replay the situations in my head and think of every other possible situation if things would have played out differently. However, I do this less often now because at the end of each night, I usually come to realise, after hours and hours of rolling around imagining what could have or would have happened, that it is these situations that have brought us to where we are now. If it wasn't for the first time that I had my heart shattered, would I have learnt to grow stronger or have had the chance to meet you? If it wasn't for our first clubbing experience, would I have known how much I cared about you and how much you meant to me?

But in the end, is it more important to spend so much time thinking about what our past could have been like or to spend more time thinking about who we are now and what we can do and be tomorrow? I believe that everyday is a new beginning and we shouldn't waste time thinking about how we can change our past (although sometimes I can't help but to wonder). What's important is what you are going to do today and tomorrow as these are the things that are actually within our own control. That is why I wish to say that I completely fell for you ever since the day you held my hand and put your ring on my finger and I will continue to love you and only you, today, tomorrow and every day after that.