Yesterday was the first day without my baby around all the time and I must say, I REALLY MISSED YOU! It wasn't easy like old times where I could just drive about 20 minutes and I would reach my baby's house and we would hang out. I really don't know how to handle this, but I HAVE to be strong!
This first day marks not an ending but rather a new beginning for both of us. I believe that if we can get through this, then we can only get stronger. Although right now, I'm not sure whether or not my handling strategies are working.
Yesterday I only ate a museli bar, a tiny bit of nasi lemak and a sandwich. Although this may be due to the food poisoning that I may have got on my last day in Malaysia. The day before that I pretty much vomited the whole day and had nothing to eat. Other than that, I spent most of the time texting my baby and when he wasn't free, I would just be sleeping. Sleeping was my way of seeing my baby and I wouldn't miss him as much. I know this is no way of handling this, but for me, I don't know how else to handle it. I've got an extremely important exam on saturday, but i just feel so powerless and unmotivated to do anything. So yesterday, was my day off. A day to try and deal with my withdrawal syndrome.
However, I swear that today will be different! This isn't just about me. When I am sad, my baby feels sad too. Im sure that my baby does not want to see me behaving like this and rotting in my room. I promise that I will study hard and work towards a better future. I can't promise that I will feel the happy and not miss you just like that, but I will try to go on with my life and work hard because I know that you will be in my heart, always. I love you.
Signing Out,
2 comments:
be strong... your future lies in your hand. think of your future and work towards your goal. may you be always happy and healthy. cheers
Thanks ray! After talking to several people (and getting some really good advice) I have thought it all through. I will work hard towards my future and hopefully along the way I really truly find out who and what I want to be. Hope you are too.
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